therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Someone shit on the floor
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
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