I want to stick my p in your. b.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
