I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
