If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i drank out of a bidet.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Randomize
