ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
