I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
