i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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