oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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