That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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