Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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