Can Purell be used as lube?
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
