I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
