please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
