Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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