This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
