Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
