Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
