We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
