did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
