big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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