OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
