i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
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