It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
