please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
