Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
