Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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