Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
my liver is dry heaving
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
