ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
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