She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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