Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
