You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i believe in u and ur pee
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
