her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
