It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
