Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
