office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
