she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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