So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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