saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
