He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
