I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
