i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize