Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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