i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
