What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
