he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
