Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize