You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
