i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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