it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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