mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
