You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
