did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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