Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
