Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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