i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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